Play Alongside Your Child (even if you're not a gamer)
A simple guide to co-playing and starting easy chats
Ever watched your child play and wondered what they’re actually getting up to in there?
Playing alongside them gives you a chance to see their gaming world for yourself- who they play with, what they enjoy, how they handle a loss and what comes up while they play.
It can also make conversations about gaming feel much more natural.1 When your child shows you how a game works, they get to be the expert, while you get to ask questions without it feeling like a check-up.
If your first thought is, ‘I wouldn’t even know how to play this,’ you’re not alone.2 You don’t have to be good at the game. In fact, being a beginner can work in your favour.
3 ways to co-play: Let your child show you how it works
Watch: Sit beside them for one match or level. Ask what’s happening. Notice who’s in the chat, whether your child knows them, and how they respond to wins, losses and challenges.
Be taught: ‘Can you teach me the basics?’ Let them hand you the controller and laugh at your first attempt together. Pay attention to how they talk about the game, their teammates and the people they play with.
Play: Join in and play- it’s okay to be bad at it. Some games have co-op or same-screen modes that make this easier. You’ll also get a feel for how purchases, chat and competition work in the game.
You don’t have to do all three. Even watching for ten minutes can tell you a lot.
Let the game start the conversation
Moments during play are easier openings than a sit-down talk:
After a loss: ‘That was close. What happened there?’
At a purchase pop-up: ‘Is that worth it to you?’
At a friend request from someone new: ‘Do you know them?’
When another player is rude: ‘Does that happen a lot?’
Remember to keep it light. Follow their lead and ask when something catches your attention.
Giving your child some space
Older children may want some gaming time to themselves. Ask to join or watch at a quieter moment, and respect it when they’d rather play on their own. Being invited back matters more than joining every time.
⭐IRL: Older children don't always want a parent at the playground, but they like knowing you're nearby if they need you. Being around without hovering tends to keep that door open. |
You might still be completely lost at first. That’s okay. Let your child show you how it works, and see what you learn along the way.
Keep Reading: Resources for Parents
Raising Good Gamers: What Families Need to Know About Video Games and Well-Being by Dr. Rachel Kowert, Games for Change
(A research-based guide for parents looking to better understand their children’s gaming experiences and build healthier conversations around games)
Citations:
1. Musick, G., Freeman, G. & McNeese, N.: Gaming as Family Time: Digital Game Co-play in Modern Parent-Child Relationships, Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction (CHI PLAY) (2021)
2. Ministry of Digital Development and Information: MDDI Study Shows Most Parents Guide Children’s Digital Use But Would Like More Support (2025)