Play Kind, Fair, and Safe
Help kids handle tough moments, play fair, and speak up
Your child's game is on speaker.
A teammate's voice: "Bro, how did you miss that?"
Laughter.
A few rounds in the same voice: "You're so bad. Why do you even play?"
Games are full of fast, loud talk, and most of it is harmless. People can also communicate differently behind a screen than they would face-to-face, and children can be influenced by the behaviour they see around them.1 That can make it harder to tell when teasing has crossed the line.
Just joking or bullying? 3 quick checks
Game or person? Is the comment about what happened in the game, or is it putting down the person playing?
Once or a pattern? One comment can hurt. Repeatedly picking on the same player is a different matter.
In on it or singled out? Is everyone in on the joke, or does one player keep ending up as the target? Pay attention to how your child seems to feel about it, too.
There’s no magic phrase that draws the line. Context matters. Sometimes a player may be targeted themselves, including for their voice, gender, appearance, background or identity.2 Calling it ‘simply a joke’ doesn’t make it harmless.
⭐IRL: At the park, teasing someone who trips during a game of tag is different from leaving the same child out every recess. Online banter works the same way: look at who it's aimed at and how often it happens. |
If it's happening to your child
Many children don’t tell an adult when they have a difficult experience in a game.3 That makes your first reaction matter. Stay calm, listen first, and make it clear that telling you won’t automatically mean losing the game.
If your child is the one being unkind
It happens. Start with curiosity: "What was going on in that match?" Then help them put it right, whether that's an apology in chat or simply playing differently next time. Set a clear expectation, help them put things right, and give them a chance to do better next time.
How your child can be an upstander
Helping doesn’t have to mean confronting anyone. Your child has several ways to support someone who is being targeted:
Don’t join in. Even a laugh or emoji can encourage it.4
Check in privately. ‘That wasn’t cool. You okay?’
Back them up. ‘Leave it. We all miss.’
Use the tools. Save a screenshot if it helps, then mute, block or report. [Link to article]
Tell a trusted adult if it keeps happening or feels serious.
Pause before replying. Have them think about whether their response will help or make a situation worse.
Your child doesn’t have to fix the whole situation. Knowing what to do, with small choices along the way, is a great place to start.4
Keep Reading: Resources for Parents
Raising Good Gamers: What Families Need to Know About Video Games and Well-Being by Dr. Rachel Kowert, Games for Change (2026): includes guidance on digital citizenship and positive play.
Online Safety Commission (Singapore): where to get help and report serious online harms such as online harassment, doxxing and online stalking.
MDDI’s Survey on children’s online gaming activities: Singapore findings on who young people game with, bullying, and whether they seek help.
Citations:
1. Meriläinen, M. & Ruotsalainen, M.: Online Disinhibition, Normative Hostility, and Banal Toxicity: Young People’s Negative Online Gaming Conduct, Social Media + Society (2024)
2. ADL Center for Technology and Society: Hate is No Game: Hate and Harassment in Online Games 2023 (2023)
3. Ministry of Communications and Information (now MDDI): Survey on children’s online gaming activities
4. Salmivalli, C., Voeten, M. & Poskiparta, E. Bystanders Matter: Associations Between Reinforcing, Defending, and the Frequency of Bullying Behavior in Classrooms, Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology (2011)